I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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