I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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