i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize