So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
