I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
As shirtless as possible
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
