Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
