STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
