So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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