We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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