Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
