Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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