the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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