Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize