Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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