Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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