i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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