he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
