We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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