If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize