Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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