I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
