ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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