i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
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