She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
