she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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