Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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