Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
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MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
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I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
God I need to hump something, right now.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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