We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
