the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
