Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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