idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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