I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
