hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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