Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
