remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just found puke in my bra..
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
