What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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