That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
