btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize