I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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