I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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