Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
