we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
