he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
