Texts From Last Night

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  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.

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  (509): I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo. http://tfl.nu/veuj
  Replies (16) Good night (4722) Bad night (583)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.

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  (480): you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you. http://tfl.nu/te9w
  Replies (20) Good night (4660) Bad night (670)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.

  (1-804): View more from Virginia

  I'm on my way.

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  (804): my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now. (1-804): I'm on my way. http://tfl.nu/8nvt
  Replies (28) Good night (7249) Bad night (1007)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day

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  (860): Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day http://tfl.nu/vbqh
  Replies (4) Good night (3586) Bad night (758)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.

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  (919): If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today. http://tfl.nu/n74k
  Replies (8) Good night (722) Bad night (2421)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.

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  (603): I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife. http://tfl.nu/98pl
  Replies (11) Good night (1190) Bad night (2564)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.

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  (603): nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment. http://tfl.nu/rfmt
  Replies (4) Good night (2298) Bad night (1033)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.

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  (360): What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is. http://tfl.nu/1m0s
  Replies (11) Good night (2270) Bad night (651)
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  (585): View more from New York

  If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed

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  (585): If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed http://tfl.nu/2pf8
  Replies (6) Good night (1771) Bad night (501)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  We left the knife in your bed.

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  (780): We left the knife in your bed. http://tfl.nu/mwcc
  Replies (9) Good night (573) Bad night (1166)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.

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  (505): There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy. http://tfl.nu/c3w4
  Replies (6) Good night (1941) Bad night (538)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Great news I took pics last night

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies

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  (908): Great news I took pics last night (908): Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies http://tfl.nu/mrta
  Replies (2) Good night (822) Bad night (407)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.

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  (215): tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts. http://tfl.nu/39iy
  Replies (5) Good night (1260) Bad night (391)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.

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  (705): I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza. http://tfl.nu/7yan
  Replies (10) Good night (835) Bad night (376)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.

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  (256): I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula. http://tfl.nu/7slm
  Replies (0) Good night (200) Bad night (521)

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