How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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