Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid

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  (540): that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen (703): i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid http://tfl.nu/ez4n
  Replies (8) Good night (1386) Bad night (654)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.

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  (902): i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots. http://tfl.nu/58kw
  Replies (35) Good night (2681) Bad night (735)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...

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  (617): ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day... http://tfl.nu/iy3f
  Replies (13) Good night (1077) Bad night (4588)
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  (+81): View more from

  Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me

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  (+81): Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me http://tfl.nu/yr11
  Replies (28) Good night (4467) Bad night (869)
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  (662): View more from Mississippi

  After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.

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  (662): After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do. http://tfl.nu/mztj
  Replies (9) Good night (3332) Bad night (953)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  you didn't get her number why?

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  (724): So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends. (1-724): you didn't get her number why? http://tfl.nu/gt6x
  Replies (7) Good night (2795) Bad night (1528)
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  (408): View more from California

  I miss the smell of you or some shit.

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  (408): I miss the smell of you or some shit. http://tfl.nu/h6lu
  Replies (23) Good night (2925) Bad night (1188)
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  (516): View more from New York

  drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries

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  (516): drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries http://tfl.nu/4gv5
  Replies (4) Good night (3032) Bad night (708)
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  (530): View more from California

  Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication

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  (530): Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication http://tfl.nu/e0p4
  Replies (11) Good night (2338) Bad night (591)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties

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  (519): I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there (905): Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties http://tfl.nu/lxma
  Replies (4) Good night (1341) Bad night (952)
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  (213): View more from California

  Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.

  (1-213): View more from California

  best text I've received ever.

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  (213): Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon. (1-213): best text I've received ever. http://tfl.nu/3obm
  Replies (16) Good night (4919) Bad night (693)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.

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  (207): Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something. http://tfl.nu/ppvg
  Replies (12) Good night (1066) Bad night (589)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.

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  (785): That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA. http://tfl.nu/53zt
  Replies (4) Good night (1302) Bad night (320)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029

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  (402): I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029 http://tfl.nu/erxw
  Replies (7) Good night (306) Bad night (857)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.

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  (307): Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school. http://tfl.nu/nzko
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (202)

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