Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
