Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(305): View more from Florida

Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.

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(440): View more from Ohio

My astrological sign? Vagitarius.

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?

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(973): View more from New Jersey

A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(712): View more from Iowa

Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass

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(703): View more from Virginia

yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.

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(630): View more from Illinois

you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"

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(647): View more from Ontario

Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?

(226): View more from Ontario

Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?

(647): View more from Ontario

Oh definitely.

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