theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
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