We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
