we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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