just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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