def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
