So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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