Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
