I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
