You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
