508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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