He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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