So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
