Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
