You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
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