He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
