The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
