doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
