Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
