He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
