this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize