WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
