i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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