Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
