MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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